April Fool's Joke




Since 2002, every year AutoZine posts a joke on the 1st of April. Here is a collection of the past jokes. Enjoy !




2019
Land Rover Defender challenges Nurburgring record



The all-new generation Land Rover Defender has been spied undergoing intensive testing at Nurburgring Nordschleife. Sources familiar with the matter told AutoZine that it is very close to breaking the all-time record set by Porsche 919 Hybrid Evo at 5:19.546. If that is true, it will be one and a half minute clear of the next fastest production car, Lamborghini Aventador SVJ. That must be a big boost to the morale of JLR, which is hit by heavy losses and redundancy lately.

Insider said the new Defender is not all about chasing Nurburgring lap record. Instead, it will demonstrate how to break the lap record by its superior off-road capability and hill-descend control, sufficient to straighten the countless of tight corners in the famous circuit. Moreover, as it is a true Defender, it will have armoured body to protect against smashing the fences and trees, by the way demonstrating its suitability to serve military purposes in the most rigorous environment.



As shown in the spied picture, the new Defender wears a body inspired by Landwind X7, but there is also a hint of Kia Soul to be honest. Contrary to belief, it will use a steel ladder frame chassis and live axle suspensions at both ends, as JLR expects its existing local suppliers will all bankrupt after hard Brexit, leaving the residuals of cottage industry to survive. Power unit, however, will be advanced. It will employ 4 electric motors sourced from China. The battery is similar to that of the I-Pace, but relocated to the roof to avoid damaging by mines, or water when crossing river. A TD4 turbo diesel engine will serve as range-extender in markets outside EU. European customers may opt for it in the form of a trailer, so that the CO2 emission won't be counted.

Launch date is still uncertain because of the political uncertainty surrounding British motor industry. It will probably arrive after the final decision of Brexit, so there might still be some years, if not decades. Before then, JLR workers can sit down and count fingers.






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